Poodle / Mix / Doodle / Fuzzy Critter - RESCUE / REHOME
No More Homeless Pets - Best Friends
I just posted on my facebook page 2 videos from the conf in Oct. 2010. Well worth reading.
You can go to my facebook page or go to Best Friends. Really makes you think about what is important in life, and is all this rescue infighting worth it?
I used to be associated with a rescue friend who was so two faced, but I didn't realize it until she turned on me. And she has turned on me many times since, in very hurtful ways. But she has a following who believes everything she says. You know, money does talk, and she uses hers to talk a lot!
The same with some family members. After my parents died 10 years, siblings who were much older and didn't have much to do with me suddenly wanted to run my life! And still do! They have hurt me in ways I didn't believe possible. Makes me gladder than ever that I live in another state and I rarely "go home". I don't because I cannot trust them anymore.
The title of the speech at the NMHP conference was "Life is Short, Make Your Time Count".
"Several weeks ago, at Best Friends’ No More Homeless Pets Conference, I spoke about the impact of one’s life and the time that we’ve been given…and our choices about how to best spend that time.
Over the course of the last year, my life has taken a dramatic, threatening turn.
I’ve had plenty of occasions for reflection. The simple fact that I’ve got one shot at this thing called life was delivered to me hard and fast, but it was easy for me to split that delivery into two categories: I can spend it focused on tearing other people down and stewing in a pile of negativity, or I can spend it on raising the world up. It was time for me to pull a big dumpster up to my life and empty everything into it that didn’t matter and everything that was a source of negativity and hatred.
Translating this message into our work for the animals…life is too short to waste on negativity and the kind of infighting that has too often characterized our movement. We must set aside discord and conflict within the animal welfare movement. It only does a disservice to our greater cause and keeps us marginalized in the mainstream public agenda. This means leaving behind the bash and trash language that generates plenty of heat but not much light.
There is another slice to this, which is, of course, Best Friends’ belief that kindness is the most powerful and transformative arrow in our quiver. Kindness is and always has been our centerline. We are under no illusions that there were and still are people in animal welfare, animal rights and animal shelters who could care less about saving lives, but anger and negativity only creates entrenched opposition. There are many more clever ways to create change than a full frontal, negative public assault. Make no mistake, kindness is not weakness or compromise, it is powerful and transformative while negativity is an addictive black hole of wasted energy.
As our movement grows and new advocates join in the cause, it’s our duty to reiterate the message of kindness. The easiest and most normal response to the injustice and pain that animals suffer everyday is anger, aggression and in-your-face messages about dead animals. What is missing from that calculation is the understanding that for years, prior to the success demonstrated by the Best Friends’ message and approach of kindness, activists and organizations routinely featured barrels of dead animals in their public appeals and railed against the entrenched power of the establishment. It went nowhere. The primary effect was to turn off the public and push our movement to fringes,
If we are to effect real change, we need to mainstream our message and the cause of No More Homeless Pets. To do that, we must understand the very simple lesson that I’ve learned over the past year. It takes strength to be gentle and kind to each other…life is short, make it count. (Click on the images below to watch Part One and Part Two of the closing speech.)"
Julie Castle
Here's the Link to the Videos:
http://blogs.bestfriends.org/index.php/2010/11/16/life-is-short-make-your-time-count-2/
Posts
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AdminPermalink Reply by LM Fowler - Admin on -
Thank you so much, Em for adding this. (I put the speech and link in for you). It is very personal and timely, especially for me and those of us who are rebuilding this website and our lives after the fallout of the past.
Kindness is always better than nastiness and I am so glad to be out and away from the negativity and back-biting of the past.
What is said in the forward and the videos is very true and I agree that the images of death and suffering are still powerful, but I think knowledge and kindness is a better way to teach. I know as a teacher in an inner-city school, being a superior, know-it-all, in-your-face kind of teacher doesn't work. What does work is using teachable moments, love and showing genuine kindness.
"Anger and negativity only creates entrenched opposition," works in the classroom and in life. Anger and negativity only brings anger and negativity back to our own door.
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Member Since 2009Permalink Reply by Jeannine, Gamine & Thalie on -
Dear Emilie,
Thank you for your kindness and honesty. Most of us, who are from the first wave on this website, had a very hurtful experience with a very manipulative, selfish person but we did work hard to move on and now we all are very proud of what we do accomplish here.
Your blog is very much appreciate and touching to all of us. Thank you again
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Permalink Reply by Susan D. on
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Emilie, I am another of the group here who was hurt and accused of horrible things by another rescue. They are still practicing the same underhanded things to this day, but some people follow the leader blindly. All of us here have learned our lesson well from that particular rescue. Thank you for posting this here. It really hits home!
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Permalink Reply by Sue & the Crew on
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Emilie, this was a great post and certainly "touched home" here on RRC I am sure. As more of an "outsider" to the earlier rescue infighting, I often wondered what the point was? I thought to myself that the goal has to be to rescue dogs in need, right? Well, it was most certainly not being accomplished by organizations that spent more time "bashing" and "bad mouthing" others than focusing on rescuing dogs in need. An organization that relies heavily on volunteers and the kindness of the public at large (for donations) needs to present a professional and courteous image. To me, public (online) poor behaviour only discredits organizations - 501c or not (don't get me started on 501c - people put far too much emphasis on this).
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AdminPermalink Reply by LM Fowler - Admin on -
Guys, if you read some of the comments below the videos, Julie also adds some really powerful words that so much apply to us:
"Kindness is not passing out bouquets or being unrealistic about the challenges such as you describe. It is however, a deliberate discipline of not indulging in the weakness and self satisfaction of simply getting your ya-ya’s out by screaming and yelling (actually and figuratively), pointing fingers and getting in fights that produce collateral damage that takes time and energy to clean up…if it can be cleaned up at all. Kindness is not even about liking people or approving of what they do. It is, in fact, entirely independent of ones personal feelings and can be quite ruthless. Someone I respect once advised me to treat difficult people like frightened animals. Yelling at them only makes things worse."
AND in the top:
"The simple fact that I’ve got one shot at this thing called life was delivered to me hard and fast, but it was easy for me to split that delivery into two categories: I can spend it focused on tearing other people down and stewing in a pile of negativity, or I can spend it on raising the world up. It was time for me to pull a big dumpster up to my life and empty everything into it that didn’t matter and everything that was a source of negativity and hatred. "
It says to me just how we have been trying to operate for the past six months and should remember in moving forward. No-one can hurt us, if we don't let them. We haven't and we won't. But she is right in saying that unless we become a "collective" and "collaborate" and operate under kindness at all times, nothing will change...with us or with the homeless pets situation. By taking another rescues tag, by lying about another rescue group, by backstabbing and slandering each other, we will never be successful.
This RESCUE site will never go down that road, now or ever. Those who do are only hurting themselves and the animals they profess to be helping.
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Member Since 2009Permalink Reply by Emilie M Bottiggi on -
Thank you for pulling out the pertinent points in this speech. That is what struck me so much and stuck to me! I've had to remove myself from those full of negativity and just do what I know to be the right thing regardless. It is very hard at times, but it is the only right way!
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Member Since 2009Permalink Reply by Emilie M Bottiggi on -
Thank you. I posted it only because it struck a nerve with me - in my rescue life as well as well as my personal life. I've had to say NO more times than I like, the requests were underhanded and not represented correctly. It is very hard too when you can't trust your family and others don't understand why you chose "the road less taken".
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Member Since 2009Permalink Reply by Emilie M Bottiggi on -
I wasn't around then, but that's okay. I've had enough experience and dishonesty in my other rescue world to last 2 or 3 lifetimes. So I understand.
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Member Since 2009Permalink Reply by Emilie M Bottiggi on -
I am so glad I found the videos and took the time to watch them! Apparently, it struck a chord with many of you here.
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AdminPermalink Reply by LM Fowler - Admin on -
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You cannot know all we have been through and that doesn't matter. What does matter is that these are certainly words to live by, no matter the situation.
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Member Since 2009Permalink Reply by Emilie M Bottiggi on -
Thanks for everything. Lynn, the hugs from NJ, the wise comments, the caring attitude, and everything nice. It is nice to wake up to this, even though it is already afternoon!
George seems to be doing well. Takes his meds without much protest, and isn't fighting the E collar, except when it gets in his way manuevering in my small spaces! We go back to the vet on Tuesday.
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AdminPermalink Reply by LM Fowler - Admin on -
Awh, you're welcome and just remember...if you need to chat we're here. Let us know what turns up on Tuesday and whenever you feel like jumping in as a guest blogger, you are welcome and it is looked forward to. I have been reading your thoughts on the Zoo for many years, as a lurker and am so proud to have you here.
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