Funny of the Day

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Permalink Reply by Sue & the Crew on August 12, 2010 at 8:48am

Permalink Reply by Sue & the Crew on August 13, 2010 at 9:16am

Member Since 2009Permalink Reply by Jeannine, Gamine & Thalie on August 14, 2010 at 4:19pm

Smell sooo good! The girls love that kind of perfume!

Permalink Reply by Sue & the Crew on August 14, 2010 at 5:06pm

Permalink Reply by Sue & the Crew on August 19, 2010 at 7:20pm

Oh boy, I've been slacking....

AdminPermalink Reply by LM Fowler - Admin on August 19, 2010 at 7:32pm

He must have been getting crappy food. My dogs would never bite the hand that feeds them when they get homecooking. LOL

Permalink Reply by Sue & the Crew on August 23, 2010 at 8:48am

Permalink Reply by Sue & the Crew on August 24, 2010 at 6:49pm

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.

The man is clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, and demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat, and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vet brings in a Black Labrador. The Lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead, too."

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$550."

"$550 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man!

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $500 was for the cat scan and lab tests."

Permalink Reply by Sue & the Crew on August 24, 2010 at 7:06pm

Entries in a dog's journal:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Entries in a Cat Journal

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time......

Permalink Reply by Sue & the Crew on August 25, 2010 at 8:35am

This makes me chuckle for some reason...

Permalink Reply by Sue & the Crew on August 29, 2010 at 10:18am

Mind Games Dogs Play with Their People

* After your humans give you a bath, don't let them towel-dry you! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is especially good if it's right before your humans bedtime.

* Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused (Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong).

* Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.

* Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go pee, sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.

* Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go poop. Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.

* When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.

* Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.

* Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you (don't reappear until one of your humans is panic- stricken and close to tears).

* When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.

* Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep (humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!).

Member Since 2009Permalink Reply by Jeannine, Gamine & Thalie on August 29, 2010 at 12:38pm

My girls know most of those "rules and apply them too when ever they can!!